Proverbs 10:1
The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.
by John M. Duvall
The effects of parents upon their children are long lasting. The Bible contains several passages which instruct parents upon how and why to raise up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (cf. Ephesians 6:4) The book of Proverbs contains many proverbs showing the virtue and necessity of correcting children. For instance, Proverbs 29:15 reads, “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” Proverbs 22:15 reads, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Proverbs 13:24 reads, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” Lastly, Proverbs 23:13-14 reads, “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.” As is clearly seen, raising up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord involves correction and discipline, both verbal and punitive (corporal). Parents must teach their children the rules of life (right and wrong as established by God) and discipline their children when the children break those rules.
According to the inspired writer of Proverbs, the purpose of corrective teaching is to drive foolishness from the children. When children are very young, such foolishness poses little danger. As children grow older, the need for the parents to drive the foolishness from the children becomes increasingly more crucial, replacing that foolishness with maturity and responsibility. Upon successfully so doing, the parents will help to deliver their children’s souls from hell (referring to both an early death brought on by foolishness as well as eternal punishment and condemnation).
The possibility exists for children to reject the righteous teachings of their parents. (The long history of God’s people, the Israelites, shows that people can reject instructions despite the best efforts of the teacher, or in the case of children, the parents.) However, if parents fail to drive foolishness from their children, they will aid their children in a potentially destructive life. If children refuse to learn from their parents, then the children will bear the lone responsibility for their destructive existence. Quite often, many teenage children, subjected to various influences of friends and media, develop a very foolish mind set. Despite their parent’s righteous instructions, the teenagers embark on a journey of rebellious, irreverent, and potentially destructive behavior. Once they shake the shackles of their parents reign and domain, many young adults no longer see the need to continue worshiping God. These rebellious spirits will often times seek out the very things rejected by their parents. Many teenagers experiment with alcohol, drugs, sexual activity, foul language, etc. These rebelling teens may embrace thoughts and ideas scorned by their parents. While their parents work to correct the ill activities, the young people despise the voice and words of their parents, saying, “Let me live my own life. Let me make my own mistakes. Quit telling me what to do.”
Such rebellious behavior is not without its affects upon the mother and the father. The inspired writer pictured the mother and father grieving over the foolishness of their rebellious child. As Proverbs 10:1 reads, “But the foolish son is the grief of his mother.” The King James Version renders the phrase, “. . . but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.” The English Standard Version renders the phrase, “. . . but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.” The mother (and father) will suffer great emotional distress over rebellious children. Parents will cry. They will mourn. They will become angry and ask themselves, “Where did we go wrong?” Quite often, young people who rebel do so because of their own selfish wants and desires, not because their parents were negligent in teaching them. However, such knowledge is of little comfort to the distraught parents. These rebellious children proceed upon their course, knowing, but not caring about the despair they bring to the hearts of their loving parents.
What are parents to do if their children rebel as they begin their journey outside of their parents control? This is a question that has plagued parents down through the ages. One of the hardest of answers is this: Continue to take a stand for the truth, doing nothing that would condone or enable the rebellious behavior. Pray that the child will learn from his own mistakes and return home, as in the story of the prodigal son. If younger children are observing the behavior of a rebellious sibling, they will likewise be watching to see how the parents respond in the presence of pressure from the rebellious child.
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